I wish it were as easy as pinning a pin on pinterest.
I think we all know that it isn't.
I think we all know that pretty soon everyone is going to have an ugly day.
Choosing our own happiness means we don't place that burden or responsibility on another. I, alone, am responsible for my happiness. Before you hear a self-righteous tone, please know that I am writing to me, for me.
I left the office after 10pm tonight. I usually just work at home, but the paper in my office is winning. I just kept telling myself if I could just accomplish something, I would feel better. If I took an action step in a positive direction, I could regain firmer footing in this world I used to know. Blessed by a career that is my passion, I love the team with whom I work, but "getting things done" hasn't touched the ugly.
In the book, Grace Disguised, the author discusses the choices we face in grief. In addition to the thought that we must "enter into the darkness and face the pain of loss", he also comments on Victor Frankl's book, Man's Search for Meaning. Frankl describes the survivors of the holocaust as people who found a way to "transcend their suffering. They chose to expect a good tomorrow, though there was little promise of one."
We listened to a sermon earlier this year about those things seen and those things unseen. The verse has been rolling around in my head ever since. "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18 The survivors of the holocaust chose the focus on the good they couldn't see. They protected a place within their heart for hope despite the hate that acted like a thief threatening and robbing the life they could see.
I know my girl is in heaven and each day heaven is less of a thief - the thief isn't heaven. The stages of grief don't remit; you don't finish one and move on to the next like graduating from middle school to high school. You deal with one; find a footing and then deal with another stage only to be knocked back into the initial stage by something as trivial as a curling iron or eye liner or a soft t-shirt.
Nevertheless, beauty is everywhere and I am so blessed to work with children and people who love children everyday. It makes finding beauty not easy, but attainable. It is also fleeting. The redbud blooms and the Carolina-in-the-Morning yellow buds share the afternoon sun in my back yard. The sun accentuates the contrast between the bold purple and the warm yellow, but the same perpetual energy force also causes the tree to grow, changing its majestic purple buds into deep green leaves. It's heat wilts the yellow blooms until they fall to ground, littering the flower bed with a brocade of gold - so beautiful and so temporary.
"Nature's first leaf is gold. / Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower, / But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf. /So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day, / Nothing gold can stay."
"What is unseen is eternal..." She is eternal, and so is the impression she left on the hearts she touched. So is the God that wrapped her up and took her home.
This I believe...