I had every intention of throwing myself into the role of his girl, flirting at the table, asking about his day. However, a few moments into the nachos, Taylor's mom looked into Taylor's daddy's eyes and shared one of her deepest fears - "I feel like something bad is going to happen."
What he said next caused me to duck my head in public and sob.
I can't share with you the rest of the conversation; its ours like the secret moments we shared creating her. But I can tell you that when i reached to place my hand in his, he lifted his other hand and covered the hand of mine he held, the warmth of him enveloping me. He ended by saying we just had to love what we had while we were here to love it.
The words would have been powerful enough for me had our dinner date been the first time I heard them walk across my heart. However, I had heard them earlier today as well. Driving to a meeting after leaving the high school my children love so much, I asked Tay and God out loud, beating the steering wheel, "How am I going to do this?" and the words that echoed in my mind were, "Just love more. Pour into them."
I don't deserve this man, nor the son and daughter he and I created. Quite simply, they are a manifestation of God's grace - and the definition of grace is just that - receiving the "free and unmerited favor of God".
People use to ask us - "How did you end up with him? How did he end up with you?" In this place, where sometimes the pain casts a shadow even at high noon, where I cannot reach comfort for him, nor he for me, I am still completely covered by his friendship, by his strength and by his love. God found a man so secure in himself, so strong in his beliefs, so willing to love completely, and so willing to be loved, and then He gave him to me. So, I sit sobbing, broken, and covered by the free and unmerited favor of God.
I'm such a lucky girl; my husband still dates me.
Ruth 1:16 "But Ruth replied, 'Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.' "