"Just like my body labored to bring you into the world, it labors to let you go. It is foreign and tears at every fiber of my being. I want a choice! I want to the chance to say, "NO!" "Hell No!" "No freaking way!" I don't want sweet memories. I want my rebel-hearted, short-tempered, fiercely competitive baby girl next to me breathing, laughing, snorting, full of life. To hell with death and ..."
I wanted you to know that I don't always have the faith to hope or praise, that I struggle to find the good some days because I am not this strong, or as faithful as you think I am, or as selfless as you portray me. Grief is ugly, and I have been buried in ugly sometimes.
Then, I found this blog -
written by one of Taylor's friends, Carlie.
Maybe this illustrates how these young girls comfort me. It's definitely my one good thing. Grief is ugly, but God given.