"I realize that we do hard things and that we will continue to get up and go on. I realize the habit of routine will take over, and we will go blindly forward some days. However, I don't think I will ever get accustomed to waking up and entering a world without our Taylor."
Tom Harrison's sermon, as well as Jon Odom's, had worked on my heart some throughout the day Sunday. We listened to the on-line broadcast as we put up our tree. The boys would often commentate with one-liners as Tom spoke. I loved that I had evidence of their thinking about the words Tom shared - even if a reference to the Blue's Brothers was probably not where Tom was going. I listened to the playback of Jon Odom's sermon as I worked out. One of Taylor's friends, Madison, had been in the 11 o'clock service and commented that what he said really helped her as she struggled with the disruption of losing Taylor. I am so hungry for peace and answers.
Since I am difficult to console as I only want my daughter, I can't quote to you a scripture that they shared or a story that one man or the other related that acted as the proverbial arrow through the William Tell apple. Their messages had been about disruptions that alter the course of lives - death, divorce, loss, etc. As the first Sunday of advent, an appropriate scripture was chosen out of Luke. It told of how Mary learned she would be a mother before she ever became a wife. Both men explored what kind of turmoil and fear that announcement must have brought to a young, unwed, Mary. I was looking too hard on Sunday for the brash clanging of a bell to answer my question: Why? Nothing struck me or moved me, but I chewed on the words and scripture each had shared.
Quietly, In the fashion of faith and the mystery of all that is holy, a quiet conclusion arrived at the same moment this morning as the text I sent Joey.
As a present participle, it illustrates a continuous act; -
As a noun, it illustrates the most important or basic part of a person's mind or self.
It doesn't mean I won't be sad. It doesn't mean I won't cry every morning without the hope of hearing her voice. It doesn't mean that I have to accept this act of evil as a part of God's plan. It doesn't mean I have to be content, today.
It just means be faithful.
Be faithful as Wade's mom, as Joey's wife.
Be faithful in my sadness.
Be faithful when I return to my questioning.
Be faithful in my brokenness.