The horizon lay set ablaze by deep amber laced reds that surrendered to golden oranges fading into the atmosphere’s night blue. The fire that was today burned for a few more moments etching the day into our memories.
By the time the sun set, only the final stages of burnt umber red remained resting just above the horizon. The final reflections of light succumbed to the beckoning night as the dome of blue fought the deep reds for the horizon’s face. Dark enveloped the day, and day accepted, helpless to night’s encroachment.
Joey and I lose her every day.
I have very few moments of “this can’t be real” anymore; I reckon with each day without Taylor, helplessly. I am without choice, and like the day surrenders, so do I – but not without love.
My cousin, Jill, continues to play artistically with Taylor’s phrase. While her first canvas will always be my favorite, I love what she does with color and space.
My husband finds ways for us to engage and continue to create memories. Whatever else he does in excess, he is consistent; he has one speed, and he loves us to excess. Wade and I are happy beneficiaries of that love. Clearly, Taylor’s zest for living life large stems from her Daddy’s heart. She loved him so. Watching the earth be embraced by this brilliant sunset reminded me of how Taylor and Joey love.
Robert and Linda, my aunt and uncle, remain determined to create a sanctuary of family for us, desperate to hold us up when I know they are broken too.
My friends offer what they always have – constant support, constant acceptance.
We are home now. Home is paradoxically safe and dangerous, peaceful and anxious, welcoming and foreign. Nevertheless, we are home.
Even though I am yielding to acceptance–it will never just be the three of us. We have a daughter, a sister, a beautiful friend, and she would have loved the sunset tonight.