People loved on others today.
My husband whispered to my son so that he would come sit with me and talk to me. They forget my teacher ears can hear everything. He told me how he charmed his English teacher out of giving him detention. Ugh! And how he turned in a late paper in math. His teachers are so faithful to him and create an incredibly safe environment that he enjoys. The buzzer on the oven interrupted our moment; his almost six foot four frame needing food. My son and his dad sat on the couch together, and the simple conversation rose above the sound of the tv. Wade's emotion peaking when he shared what others were saying about the Super Bowl. Joey listened, patiently, and they exchanged ideas effortlessly. There's an organic rhythm to it; there's sixteen years of "being boys' together. How blessed we are to share these moments and then step back into the role of parent to remind Wade that the clothes on the stairs that have been there for two days are his to pick up. He hangs around downstairs a little bit longer, changing the subject in an effort to score a reprieve. He walks back into my room and offers me his forehead for a kiss good night.
I miss that- that pure connection that enjoys the silence as much as the banter.
Sometimes, I just need to hurt.
Pain means something is wrong. It's a signal given to our human bodies so we will pay attention to what hurts. The same God who gave us happiness and bliss gave us pain; It must serve a purpose.
So tonight, I think I just need to be thankful for pain without making it pathetic. That's never my intent - but this is my space to name all these things. to be honest, and to try to find pieces of peace. Maybe if I let Pain have the ache this day, tomorrow will bring something more hopeful.