Here is my confession: Good happens that does not involve my girl.
There will be a day or days where I will have to choose to write about "the good" and Taylor will not be the subject of the prose. Blessed by the amount of good that surrounds me, I feel that, and honestly, I fight against it.
I am thankful for days like today when there are strings of moments where I am enthralled by my work, and I leave the sad aura around me. When I am able to speak and move gracefully (for me) in my environment and serve others or support them in our endeavor to educate kids, I am thankful. Additionally, when I can connect people or resources or information so that we can improve as a team, I am thankful. However, when I leave that space where I used to move so confidently, I feel so guilty - guilty that I forgot to be sad.
I am afraid of the day that will come when the bracelets and the pictures will be replaced by the next worthy memory. I am afraid of the day when the people around me do not know this marvelous, magnificent, beautiful, creature I was given to raise as my daughter. Moreover, I am ashamed - because that fierce little girl was hardly ever afraid of anything.
So, I am thankful I see the other good that occurs in this world and that I see other people who share their 'light'. I hope the fact that I see the good apart from the sadness means there's a day on the horizon where I can recreate these other 'lights' and know that my girl would want it that way.
Until then, I just keep finding the good.