Still when my aunt left this afternoon, I crawled into bed mid-day for the first time since Taylor's accident. Y'all are crazy if you think I didn't want to stay there. I promised myself I would get up when I heard Wade's car. "I will," I said. "I will." Only part of my heart meant it.
I didn't have to pull myself out of bed, though. My friend Sheryl texted, at 3pm and bravely asked, "How are you?" I say bravely because I am a loaded gun with that question - especially if I know you and trust you. I may just tell you.
Taylor and I used to sing that country song, "run and hide your crazy and start acting like a lady ' cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together even when you fall apart."
I didn't have to hide my crazy, because my friend Sheryl did. When I told her I was in bed, she had dinner delivered. And not just any dinner - Buffalo Wild Wings - hot wings for the boys, a wrap for me and a smile when I wrapped the other half of the Southwest Wrap in tin foil. Taylor would have split it with me.
There is a card everyday. Dana texts and Amy texts. There is Megan's blog, "Relentless Grace" on Facebook (on my page) today commenting on God's hand in her life. There are my aunt's tears. There is the gentleman from Burgraff telling me the impact our family's life has had. There is a trusted colleague carrying the weight of my responsibilities. There is my cousin's letter about finding a soda bottle at Target with Taylor's name on it and buying it to keep. There is a note on a fb post from a favorite Sunday School teacher in Sallisaw. There's a letter from Tom Harrison about a "Perceptions" script he has written in honor of Taylor's life and light. And, there's Sheryl's brother, Terry, delivering my family a favorite dinner. As much as I just wanted to sink away and let the dying light of day take me with it, so many of you were the hands and feet of God, and I am inundated with his promise that we are not alone; it isn't as dark as it feels, "even when I fall apart".
I don't know how or why you are able to hear God's voice at just the right times, but it is so much more than one good thing. Psalm 143:8