For a long time heaven was a thief; some days I still feel that way. It's a selfish symptom of grief to want my daughter here with me instead of in paradise.
Heaven seems like a just reward for my grandparents. who both lived almost a century, when their bodies and minds were failing them. They had lived rich lives and deserved dignity and the peace and healing heaven offers.
I shock myself that I don't always feel the same way about Taylor. Not having her here feels very wrong - but how can I say it is wrong for her to be in heaven? Yet, I have said it; I do say it.
I saw several things today that Taylor would have loved, and I laughed at things Taylor would have laughed at. It still hurts to laugh without her, but I am thankful for knowing her well enough to know which lines from a movie she would tweet, which pieces of clothing she would pick up for me to try, which appetizers we would split at dinner. What a gift, what a heavenly gift!
I am thankful that one day I will again know the peace that surpasses understanding, and heaven will be a reward just like the twenty years our girl spent with us were.